All Revved Up and Nowhere to Go

I’m entering that dangerous season of every year – post Willow Creek Leadership Summit, compounded this year by further mental dissection at an HR conference and the benefit of pre-baby sleepless nights giving me plenty of time to think.  It’s like an adrenaline rush of must-change-the-world-itis, generally followed thereafter by a strong sense of frustration, which is then usually followed by a despair that “the edge of my rut” will forever be ” the edge of my horizon” unless I can get the guardians of change, time, and priority to ever let me out to play.

I need a bigger chessboard.

All right, I’m about to “RANT ON,” so exit now if I’m wearing you out with too much inner staring.

I am empowered and yet hampered by all my flawed humanness and my frustration with living in a world that wallows in its rigid sameness and conformity.  Alas, my cage is as follows:

  • Female – Are there really that few women leaders out there that provide value when put up on a speaking platform?  Willow Creek seems to have resorted to using the one “known” female leader they can find (controversial though she may be – was she successful or not at leadership?  there’s a hot debate out there on Internet-land) and plugging in a young, attractive, entrepreneurial interviewee to meet the demographic need.  Today’s HR conference is packed with pink collar females (HR is considered a “pink collar” field – ’cause we’re so soft and cuddly and all), but a vast majority of the speakers are guys.  And the sad part is, I conform to it, because I tend to prefer male speakers to female…find them more credible…generally.
  • 7 months pregnant.  Walking through the vendor hall at the conference today, I got about 20 offerings of food and a number of comments about my expectant status, but had to take several vendors by surprise to get them to actually tell me about their product.  Seriously, you offer me a cookie directly after they serve us breakfast and you don’t think I see right through that?  I LOVE that I’m going to have a bigger family, but I’m more than a baby-carrier.
  • Young (I guess, or at least young enough to get frustrated with some of this stuff) – Can we stop making chuckly comments about Gen X and Gen Y at conferences?  Did somebody miss the memo that Gen X has wandered into their 40s and is probably half of your middle management-type attendees?  I’m embarrassed by the number of HR folks who are so behind on social media and technology.
  • Postmodern – Not to name any names (and dig up an old beef), but dude – postmodernism is not the opposite of Christianity.  You’re missing the whole point.  It’s also not an edgy tattoo that hip, but dangerous Christians wear.  It’s like…having your brain hardwired another way, so we hear the same truth, and it still feels and smells like truth, but it looks and sounds like a whole new language.  Maybe we need to figure out how to bridge the gap by getting that it’s a translation issue, not a generation issue – ’cause when I think about how I have to communicate with really modern thinkers, regardless of age, I feel like that’s what I’m doing.  And it feels like why I can go to something like Willow Creek and hear absolutely different messages than I hear other folks reporting back.

Okay, I’ll give it a rest.  Thanks for taking a ride on the GreatWeirdness roller coaster.  Usually, this stuff all sorts itself out in four months or so.  Until then, I’ll try to restrain myself to these kinds of “little explosions.”  I also promise to avoid movies that inspire passionate action – I’d probably just internally combust at that point.

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4 responses to “All Revved Up and Nowhere to Go”

  1. andthereyouhaveit says :

    always makes me feel a little saner to hear a real person rant the way the voices in my head do. 🙂

  2. royeyre says :

    Better not watch Amazing Grace right now. Braveheart? Not so much either.

    Wow, I think you nailed some of the real issues in a way I haven’t seen articulated before. Thanks for ranting.

    • greatweirdness says :

      Haha, I was totally thinking of Amazing Grace as something that would just have sent me over the edge at that moment. Good call!

  3. April says :

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who goes through an identity crisis of sorts after a conference (esp Willow Creek)! Talk about bad timing with the prego stuff. The last thing I want to do right now is go to anything with the word leadership in it. lol

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