Navel-Gazing: Morning Sickness Insanity

Context:  This post is not for the faint of stomach, so you may want to avoid this one if you’ve recently had food poisoning, morning sickness, or you just generally don’t deal with puke well.

So, now that I’m passed the constant nausea/throwing-up stage of this pregnancy, I can think back to some of those truly awful, bowl-embracing moments with a broader perspective.  (Wait, is anyone else hearing the Appliance Direct guy? – “WHITE PORCELAIN”)  I’m not talking so much about the gritty details, like what foods I never want to see going that direction again.  It’s more about the insanity of where my brain went in those deep moments of stomach-churning awfulness.

Like, driving down the road, imagining getting pulled over for “whatever” and having to ask the officer to back up so I can be sick out the driver’s door.  “Officer, I’m sure I did whatever you’ve said.  Now, if I could just puke where your shoes are, that would be great.”

Like, leading the church in a worship song, hitting a high note, and wondering if I’m going to have to ungracefully sprint off the stage area and back through the choir room, holding my hand to my mouth.  Wouldn’t that leave the congregation wondering?  Maybe it would have woken them up or gotten those couple of people to finally stop talking during the singing (seriously.)

Like, having a meeting with a staff person (prior to sharing the news about the upcoming baby), nodding and sucking down sour candies while trying desperately to focus on what they were telling me instead of focusing on how far the bathroom is from my office.  Too far.  I hope I wasn’t making faces.  “Gosh, I guess she didn’t like my status update on the project.  She had the weirdest look.”

All in all, I’m quite grateful that I’ve passed this stage with baby 2.  In some ways, it was better and worse than last time.  Last time, my 2nd trimester was a weird combination of amazing baby movement and two feet firmly planted in the right side of my rib cage (did you know that an ice pack applied externally will get that foot to move in no time? the things you learn here…).  Here’s hoping my 2nd trimester this time is even better.

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2 responses to “Navel-Gazing: Morning Sickness Insanity”

  1. twangskitter says :

    Ever wonder why they don’t make toilets out of plastic??? That guy is an inspiration.

    I’d like to attribute many of the strange looks I’ve gotten from you to your 2nd tri-whosit, but I don’t think you’ve been pregnant for the past decade.

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